Self-worth

A while ago a friend recorded a radio program about self-worth, deserving for his coaching practice and requesting my feedback. I took my time to process and finally replied him after more than a month. 

Self-deserving or self-worth is a huge topic. The intricacy of it involve how a person define oneself, identity, self-esteem, cultural sense, responsible for self, care for others, values, principles and the list goes on with layers of what made up 'The Self'. 

I recently went to one of the writers' festival event, saw Amy Tan and Linda Jaivin. The two were amazing writers and brilliant together. I love their passion about their work, it's so powerful and direct. They talked about culture and identity searching of their own experience. I think, identity contribute a big part to a person's view of who they are and what they deserve. Answer the questions of who do you think you are and who do you want to be.

What is deserving to you? Spiritually? What do you think you really deserve? 

Grandma's health is deteriorating quickly recently, she is questioning god, why she has to suffer so much before she goes? She never did bad things in her life...

Of course she deserve better and should not suffer from illness, but who is there to say?

There are so many layers of us, from our experience, the activities we performed, the decision we made that shaped the present self. At present time, I see it this way, knowing what I deserve is one thing, understanding the system and work through it is another, we have to find the balance between the two. Sometimes, one needs to earn and then own what they deserve.That involves working diligently, responsible for self, care for others, contribute and gain. It is a flow, an exchange and it never stop there, it's not static. 

When someone is presented an award and celebrated by others, I think that's the highest sense of deserving. It's a shared experience and bring happiness. 

This is a topic so broad and interesting that people could spend a life time having conversation about it; or it could just be as simple as how you see it. 

Photography

Even I love photography and find photographs inspiring but I never really pay too much attention on the production side before. I just assumed a good (and expensive) camera would do all the jobs.

Only recently, I have my new experience with a mid range DSLR camera and suddenly realised how challenging it could be. Especially to shoot every photo on the manual setting. Constantly adjusting the setting for a different scenery. To be honest, for a moment I missed my four third Sony 5N, it is so much easier and user friend. (chuckles) "Manual is too much effort" grumble quietly. It demands high volume of patience and time.

“You don't make a photograph just with a camera. You bring to the act of photography all the pictures you have seen, the books you have read, the music you have heard, the people you have loved.” 
― Ansel Adams

Learning a new skills from midway is always interesting. There are old and new perceptions trying to find their place in our brain and sometimes we have to unravel the conflicts. However, most importantly is to have a fun learning experience. Like having good learning buddy, good buddies could inspire you to create better works. Discussions and exchanging ideas are fun and important, it is much better than just learning alone by reading. Group learning also enable one to socialise with others, open up, exploring other options, even making mistakes is fun. I reckon it increases a person interested in the activity. Learning buddies is beneficial.

I will continue to learn with my buddies and know very well that a good photograph is not just how good the camera is, a big part of it is say a lot about the craftsman. I think that is the attracting part of all artform. The product represent the person.

Colour of Autumn

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” Albert Camus 

Autumn is a word defines by photographs, videos and other forms of media for most people living in the tropical countries in the South East Asia. Many artistes portrayed it as a season of colourful scenery with a hint of sadness as a lead up to winter. In real life the season is not as dramatic, in fact it is quite a pleasant weather to live.

Located at the southern hemisphere, Australia has it's four season the other way round. Within this massive continent, each state has its own distinctive weather character. In New South Wales April marked the beginning of autumn in Australia. There are no drastic differences between seasons in New South Wales, despite a few degrees drop and less sunlight. The surrounding environment still looks quite the same, the only subtle change you might notice in the garden are the plants quietly harvesting in their right season.

People with experience of colourful autumn crave for the beauty and atmosphere, they will drive out miles to catch a glimpse of autumn. Apparently, there is this famous 'colourful' place call Mountain Wilson at the Blue Mountain region have the privilege for the colours. They grow in private gardens on acres of land. The owners are taking the opportunity to invite guests to their gardens with small token as an entry fees.  

It is a good place for a colourful weekend in autumn. 

Free flow

Today I am going to experiment with free flow writing. Due to the fact that English is not my first language, writing in English always made me feeling anxious. Worrying the limited range of words I have, the high potential of grammar mistakes and of course the readableness of the piece.

Most of the time I choose not to write, which doesn't really help at all. So I borrowed books about writing from the library and hoping to find the holy grail in producing good writing. This is how the free flow idea came about. It actually make sense that practice make perfect. Anyone wants to be good at anything should just have a structured timetable to practice. The important thing is to be able to take the tasks seriously. The right attitude pays off ~ big time!

The fun thing about writing in second language is occasionally new phrases pop up and sounded great and fun! And I didn't even realise I have that in my vocabulary bank. Language is an interesting communication tool. Someone said to me once, "learning a language is like learning a new life". There is so much in a language that are from the life and costume of that culture. Widely spoken languages such as English will have numerous lives vary from regions. To be able to be good at it, one have to learn, read, speak, write and repeat and repeat and just repeat that cycle.

Free flow ten minutes is up! It's not bad at all. You should try it.

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”
—Ernest Hemingway